just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
