I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
did you just send me my own nude
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
