My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
