i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
