Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
