why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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