I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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