I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
