I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
