i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
