i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
