I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I intend to get homeless drunk
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
