Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
