for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
