he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
