I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
