To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
