i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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