? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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