I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize