you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
