you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize