R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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