my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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