she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
