is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
