I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
