I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
