Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
