my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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