Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
