The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
