don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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