And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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