I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
