I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
