the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
