Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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