what if every blade of grass was a penis?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
