She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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