I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
