I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
