i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize