Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have aggressive nipples.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.