Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it