Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
