Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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