it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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