guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
