I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
