Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
