Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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