Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
