i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
