Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
