i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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