If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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