bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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