Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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