Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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