we have pet lesbian snakes
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There's always time for handjobs
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
