I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
