why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
