Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
