did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
try to milk me bitch
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